grr. 

last paper this friday... if i hadn't missed the first 2 papers. 

thanks for reminding me about it. 

losing the momentum to study. 

i can't see what's ahead, and some issues with the school is making things worse. 

or maybe, 

i'm just losing the will to do anything. 

nothing seem to be of interest lately, 

and i feel so irritated about life. 

think its those issues at school that is making me this way. 

if the panel approve my application, it shall be great, but if they don't... i don't know what will happen... to me... to the future - if there is any to even begin with. 

shucks. 

i hate feeling this way: unmotivated and uninterested. 

i am losing control, losing grip... and soon losing everything. 

better off dead.