28/0/09 - B'Day celebration at Powerhouse

one month after my B'Day celebration, i finished posting the pictures.

damn slow. 

haha... yes... its fang!


i 'm not drunk la...


my face look R.O.U.N.D... and i'm not very hapy about it...


he's my fav...


it's my B'Day present from you guys... thanks.
i love it... 
baby gave me a black one. LOL.

SHIOK SHIOK! 

baby and his friends. 

but i seems like someone else is missing... hmm. 

anyway, i'm so sleepy these days.

my days are spent like this: 

10am - wake up/on tv for some sound/bathe/have breakfast

12noon - lying on sofa watching some tv

1230pm - falling asleep

3.30pm - wake up from afternoon nap 

3.45pm - miraculously fell asleep again 

5.00pm - wake up/bathe/prepare dinner or to go to company 

haha. better start studying soon 

at least i may not feel so panicky when EG paper is near. 

lol. 

anyway, next friday last paper 

haha. it will be holidays lo. 

but not for me still got to re-sit the 2 papers i've missed 

i wanna go on a short get-away trip 

but it seems abit difficult sia. 

baby, having NDP training soon, then still got to help him with the company while he isn't free. 

*sadded

hopefully maybe a trip across the causeway to do some shopping will be good. 

Tebaru City... eyeing for a shopping trip over there for a long long time liao. 

MY GUESS SHOP!!! haha... 

been thinking about Genting and KL too... 

HAHA.... all the shops a KLCC. its making me drool. 

i need retail therapy!!! 

haven been to Orchard for quite sometime le... 

i wanna visit Taka, Wisma, Paragon, Far East and all the other malls... 

and... 

i wanna go for a haircut soon... only at Jaren's place. 

i look like a siao char borh already. and the weather is sorching hot these days too. 

baby have been saying that Jaren 's haircut cost 4 times more than his at EC House, and been trying to persuade me to have it done at EC House too... 

SIAO! NOT OVER MY DEAD  BODY LA!

LOL. 

till i find a better alternative, its still Jaren i am going to. 

a bad hair is worse than anything else. 

these post is so so so lor sor with no objective sia. 

anyway, i see busy days ahead. 

exams and the company. 

JIA YOU! and please no more panic attacks. 

Believe in what you see and not what you hear. 

strategic management paper tmr...
argh! there's nothing up there.
and the worse part is, i feel like a panic attack is around the corner again.

was talking to my mum just now,
and it left me wondering when did exams seems like a great deal to me these days?
last time exams are like nothing.
'die then die lo' mentality.
now its... 'if exams die, i really die liao'.
hais. maybe when u grow older, there's always such responsibilities that comes along with it.

anyway, after this ordeal,
i had more time to talk to my mum,
and somehow, the cold war between us just disappear.
i felt like i have known another her again, which is a good thing.
i make me realise how much i still love her (ok, i know it sounds mushy) and how much she cares for me. i will try to keep this 'peace' between us for as long as possible and i think i will like to spend more time with her to make up for the lost time.

and for baby,
i really think i found a gem.
someone who really cares for me, seen me through the good and bad times
and of course seen the beautiful and ugly side of me
but nevertheless, still standing by me all these while.
so much trouble i have caused you, but you are still here.

and for my friends, it made me realise that there are still friends and school mates around me that care.

all these care and concern which i receive over the past few days touched my heart and make me realise that sometimes life is not about getting good grades and all but to see, hear, and feel for the people around you. the rest are just the 'extra perks'
in life.
however, even though i understand, its hard in reality.
i know i need to relax more, and not take things too seriously, but its hard.
its tough and i am trying... people don't fail, they quit.

i love you guys. thank you so much.
thank you my baby.
thank you to my mum.

i may be a blessing in disguise. i hope...

dont ask me how's my paper.
cos i din even went to take it.
was admitted to the hospital the night before,
had a panic attack and hyperventilation.
sian.
spasms all over.
but i m discharged after slping in the A&E Dept for one day and i am having body aches all over now.

hais

i am doom... NO I AM NOT!
i am trying to motivate myself.
baby is motivating me very hard too.
i think i am going insane.
mayb i AM insane...
ARGH!
i am telling myself: people don't fail, they just quit!

I CAN DO IT... i must.

i am going to get a panic attack very very soon
just realise i haven been mugging alot this semester.
like very little.
most of the time was spent sleeping, eating, tv-ing, fb-ing and busy "prospecting".
its like the eve-eve of my paper on friday, 2 papers on that day somemore! and my marketing paper has got to be a pass if not i am out of this program. SIAN!
and the best part is... for that 2 papers, i don't even know alot. haha... like maybe 20% only. wah!... i wanna cry already la...

i can only pray for a miracle.

27/03/09 - B'Day celebration with May, WK, and Jas at Fish & Co. AMK Hub

i am very busy...
with alot of things beside exams...
LOL. but at least i am happy!.

argh.
sick.
went to see two doctors in two days.
first one was at jurong point. went there after school on wednesday.
bad sore throat and body aches.
the doctor said nothing but just gave me cough syrup, longzenges and pain killers for muscle aches.
then thursday, woke up feeling ok until late morning
where the fever got higher, very bad body aches and totally no voice.
plenty of medicine to take.
mayb i need more sleep and have to drink lots of fluid.

seems like everyone is sick
GET WELL SOON PEEPS!

what a bloody good time to fall sick.
damn.
no progress in revisions for exams... and just when i am going to sit down and really start studying, i fall sick.
ARGH! i feel lethargic.
gonna catch some slp.

dreams factory - where your desired dreams come true with effort, time and determination.

i fear i might go into depression.
i am scared.
second day of tears and fear.
fear is engulfing me.
swallowing me into its darkness, where i dont see hope.

i dont know what to do
what wrong am i in

what i say is wrong, what i dont say is also wrong
what i do is wrong, what i dont do is also wrong
tell me how can i satisfy you.
tell me what can i do to satisfy you.

in your eyes, i am just the biggest mistake
i am just a liability
i am just nothing.

i think i need help.
but there's none.

please help me find positivity back before everything just collapse.

emotional breakdown.
the tears i've cried... enough to fill a bucket. literally.
i don't know what wrong am i in?
i don't what to do now...
all i know is,
there is only one me... i cannot be two place at i time.
i have commitments... and there is more to come.
i am no longer the girl with no dreams, no aim, nothing in life.
i found the person i want to be with, the dreams i want to achieve.
i cannot be 24/7 with you anymore, but that does not mean i don't care for you anymore.
if you think the way it is... there is nothing i can say.
but just ask yourself, how many times in my life did you really care for me.
in my eyes, what you care for was your "face" and everything else.
... i don't know how to carry on. its like a knife in the heart, painful.

what i am today, don't blame me,
because you made me this way.

its hard trying to fight to be positive.
only being optimistic can bring me to where i want to be.
but its hard fighting when wave of depression hits you stronger everytime.
i will try and be positive. its the only way out.

i still cannot post photos.
sian.

i'm fighting real hard.
for perfection.
for what i want to achieve.
for our dreams.
for our future.
and lastly for what i think is the opportunity for everything i want in life.

putting dreams into reality is hard,
but at least we've tried.
baby, its our fight for what we want.

fuck.
is it my blogger or others are experiencing the same problem.
i cannot load my photos!

DAMN

the things i really want is so simple
but why is everyone against it?

is it my problem or theirs?
it seems like i am fighting a battle alone.
where everything seems to be gg against you

some long overdued photos.

14/03/09 - clubbing: the day i got scared by that fake Beyonce






cam-whoring gone wrong.


haha.


thats the scary ass in the middle
its a pity i couldn't get a front view of her.
but that face will be forever etched in my head. DAMN!

random ones which i cannot remember when i taken them





21/03/09 - Bukit Timah Hike


i don't like that sinister smile


look at that reflection.
the bag i am carrying weighs a freaking 7kg.


monkey business


on the summit.
but thats not the end of the journey.
it was followed by trekking into the woods where i kept complaining about dirtying my shoes.
and it made my legs wobble for days... muscle ache


monkey with baby.


sometimes i wonder what are they digging from each other's back?


train passing-by... it was loud...


RAINBOW!!!

22/03/09 - Suntec City : shopaholics don't rest even when their legs are aching from the trekking the day before


the sunset was nice.


and when one take photo, the rest follow. HAHA.
monkey see, monkey do.

will post more...
B'Day Pictures coming soon...